It all seemed like a utopian society where no one grows old because they murder you at thirty. This brave new world filled with all the futuristic amenities for people who live in a big plastic dome filled with shopping malls, holograms, and jump suits so tight it feels like a flash mob pilates class might break out any minute but isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. When the citizens of the dome city mall reach their thirtieth birthday - it’s no party. They’re sent to a ceremony called “Carousel” which promises “renewal” but mostly involves getting zapped to dust while floating. Logan 5 (Michael York) is a professional Sandman who is tasked with hunting down those who don’t attend their birthday party and feel like being exploded. When he meets a woman (Jenny Agutter) who’s dressed like she works at a 70s themed disco yogurt bar he sorts asking questions like “What if being thirty isn’t a death sentence?” and “Why is everyone dressed like this?” And decides to escape the city. Outside the city he discovers a whole new world called “outside”. A place dirt, no food courts and an old man with cats on his head that he didn’t think could exist. Will Logan see his thirty-first birthday and bring the outside in? Or bring glamping back in the year 2274?

The Soviet Union is shocked when one of their submarine captains with a Scottish accent runs off with their newest nuclear sub. Not thinking things through, Marko Ramius (Sean Connery) has had it with communism and lousy food in Russia and decides to defect to the United States without telling anyone his plan. With a rogue stealth nuclear submarine in the water, the U.S. government goes on a high alert and only a nerdy librarian with a gun, Jack Ryan (Alec Baldwin), can figure it all out! With torpedoes, betrayals, fake cookouts, and so many sonar pings than dolphins start to complain, Jack must convince the powers that be that this is not the start of WWIII, but is simply that Marko has chosen his wedding anniversary to his late wife as a good time to defect to the United States. Will he convince them in time? Will courage, diplomacy, and a complete disregard for standard protocol resolve the situation? Or will the world go up in a mushroom cloud of smoke? But one thing’s for sure - always read dust covers of foreign biographies and keep your periscopes clean.

It starts as a nice evening of classical music, there’s no plot - just eight musical numbers, some dancing mushrooms, flying horses, and a demon the size of a city block doing jazz hands on a mountaintop. Then a wizard mouse stole a janitor’s hat and created a mop army that nearly drowned the orchestra. At one point, hippos wore tutus and performed Swan Lake. Fantasia is what happens when someone gives Beethoven, a paintbrush, and several buckets of hallucinogens to an animation studio. It’s like being hit in the face with a culture cannon loaded with ballet slippers, lava, and existential dread. The music? Beautiful. The visuals? Confusing. The experience? If a broom starts walking around, get yourself a Romba.

Donnie seemed like your average teenager - going to high school, riding his bike, making new friends. But when his newest friend, Frank, is imaginary and a six foot bunny with a metal mask that talks his world is turned upside down as he learns that he’s possibly a conduit for interdimensional collapse. This is no Easter Bunny handing out candy, but apocalyptic messages instead in riddles about wormholes and doom without a jellybean in sight. When Frank tells Donnie that the world will end in 28 days Donnie responds the way any teenager would: he floods the school, burns down a motivational speaker’s house, and yells at Patrick Swayze. Meanwhile, time loops, parallel universes, and existential dread are all happening simultaneously - like attending your high school reunion after eating a bag of mushrooms. Will Donnie sacrifice himself to reset the timeline? save his girlfriend? and possibly preserve the space-time continuum? or will he just chalk it up to a really off week?

After being successfully re-elected following the events of summer 1975, Mayor Vaughn now needs to protect the real estate investors that supported his re-election campaign by downplaying more shark attacks. Once again Chief Brody is up to his old tricks, yelling “shark!” all over the island and shooting up the beaches. As this new menace looks to really stick it to the Chief, it decides to follow the makeshift regatta his sons are in with their horny teenage friends. Will the shark get them before they “get some”? Will Chief Brody be eating fish for dinner all week? and will we finally learn the answer of helicopter vs. shark? The answers just may surprise you.

When young woman - medical student, surfer, and part-time existentialist goes to a secret beach in Mexico for closure on her trauma, she ends up paddling into the feeding grounds of a 25-foot aquatic death torpedo with trust issues. After catching a few waves, making emotional eye contact with a dolphin or two - bam! A great white shark with an attitude shows up, apparently, guarding a rotting whale carcass like it’s Fort Knox. Our nose blind heroine to rotting whale flesh seeks refuge on a rock, bleeding, sunburned, and talking to a wounded seagull named Steven. The local surfers? Shark snacks. The drunk guy on the beach? Shark hors d’oeuvre. It’s a seafood massacre with no cocktail sauce in sight. Will she find a way escape before the tide comes in? Or will she survive, get closure, and learn some valuable lessons about the ocean: always swim with a buddy, never trust a dead whale, and if your beach doesn’t have Wi-Fi, leave.

Sam (Sam Rockwell) was a regular space working guy contracted for Lunar Industries and trying to wrap up a three-year solo stint harvesting helium-3 on the moon. But when his rover crashes he wakes up to find out he isn’t alone on Sarang Station - he’s already there! Sam learns that he has been part of a fully authorized, perfectly humane participant in the Contractual Lunar Duplication Initiative, who has been duplicating a man repeatedly to avoid paying union wages.  With only a cloned workforce, memory tampering, and artificially intelligent robots with suspiciously soothing serial killer voices... he’s unable to successfully navigate the companies HR department Sam is forced to make his way back to Earth to file a formal complaint. Will he make it back before the office closes at 5? And next time he enters into a contract with SleepTech Bioresearch - will he read the fine print? And will GERTY (Kevin Spacey), the station’s AI, who did not violate any Asimovian protocols be promoted to Regional Manager of Ethics and Office Morale?

This is the story of three men - one with a cigar, one with a mustache, and one with a poncho. The “Good”, Blondie (Clint Eastwood ), had the looks of a hero but the moral flexibility of a used car salesman. The “Bad”, Angel Eyes (Lee Van Cleef), made dishonesty an art form. And the “Ugly”, Tuco (Eli Wallach) - well, let’s just say he had more lives than a cat and worse hygiene than a municipal zoo on chili dog night. All three embark on a treasure hunt during the Civil War chasing after $200,000 in Confederate gold like it was half-off meatloaf night at the Cracker Barrel, but instead of using a map, they prefer dramatic standoffs, unnecessary close-ups, and an absolute refusal to speak above a whisper. Along the way, they shoot things, glare dramatically with enough squinting to make someone invent contact lenses, and forget to share directions… and somehow, no one ever runs out of bullets or ponchos. In the end, there’s a Mexican standoff, a missing grave, ans bullets exchanged with none of them intending to pay taxes on the gold.