Eh! What is this? What is this you bring me?! This is not a pizza…this is a crime scene! Hamburger? Kielbasa? Three cheeses, okay, fine, we start okay, but then… ketchup?! Barbecue sauce?! On a pizza? You mix-a the tomato with the ketchup like this, you confuse the sauce! The sauce, she don’t know what she is anymore! And pickles?! Pickles on a pizza? Red onion, pepperoncini, mustard, ehhh! This is not toppings, this is… how you say… a nervous breakdown! …Eh…It’s… it’s not terrible. The sweetness, the tang, the meat, it all… it all works together. But I don’t like that it works! It shouldn’t work! This goes against nature! Against tradition! In Italy, for this… you go to jail. Immediately…But maybe… you bring me another slice.

Poppie’s Backyard Barbecue Flatbread

Ingredients

1 lb pizza dough
1/4 cup ketchup
2 tbs barbecue sauce
2 plum tomatoes
1 cooked hamburger or cheese burger
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup shredded American cheese
8-10 1/4 inch rounds of kielbasa
1/4 cup sliced dill pickle rounds
1/4 cup pickled pepperoncini peppers
1/4 cup diced red onion
1 tbs yellow mustard
1 egg white
2 tbs sesame seeds

Directions

Preheat oven to 500 degrees F.
Roll or toss out your pizza dough into an 18 inch round. Squeeze the ketchup in a spiral around the pizza dough leaving an inch and a half fro m the edge uncovered and dot the barbecue sauce on top of the ketchup. Thinly slice the tomatoes with a mandolin and place them in a thin layer over the sauces.
Break up your cooked hamburger into half inch chunks and scatter them over the tomatoes.
Spread the cheddar and mozzarella cheese over the pizza dough toppings and place the kielbasa, pickles, red onion, and pepperoncini over the cheeses and top with the Amrican cheese. Squeeze the yellow mustard on top of the pizza.
Using a brush, brush the egg white on the crust of the pizza and top with sesame seeds. Bake for 12-14 minutes.
Slice and serve.