See, this is exactly the kind of thing that gets me nervous. They call it salsa, but then I look at it and I see cucumbers. Cucumbers! Since when did cucumbers get into salsa? Nobody told me there'd be cucumbers! You've got tomatoes, green peppers, red onion, garlic... alright, that's respectable. That's the core group. I know where I stand with those. Then the pepperoncini peppers show up. They're tangy, they're a little spicy, they're making a scene. It's like Kramer walked into the bowl…huh. Wait a minute. The lemon juice and olive oil…that changes everything! It's fresh! It's bright! It's not one of those heavy jar salsas that just sits there like it's paying rent. And the parsley and oregano… they're not screaming for attention. They're supporting players. They know their roles. You know what the cucumber does? It gives it crunch! Cool crunch! I was against it five seconds ago, now I'm wondering why nobody thought of this sooner. This is classic me. I spend my whole life avoiding something, then I try it and suddenly I'm an expert. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some catching up to do.