Okay, okay, bro - listen to me right now. Andrew’s French Fry Emporium? Their special fry seasoning is like if a fireworks show and like a spice rack had a beautiful, salty baby. I’m talkin’ paprika doin’ karate kicks, garlic powder whisperin’ sweet nothings, and just enough mystery dust that makes you go, ‘What is that?!’ but in a good way, not in, like, a crime lab way. You eat one fry, you’re like, ‘Yeah, this is pretty good.’ You eat another and suddenly you’re emotionally invested. By the time you finish the basket, you’re ready to call your dealer and tell him you’ve moved on - to fries.