This is HUGE! This is not just bolognese, this is Bolognese 2.0! Short rib AND pork shoulder? That’s dual-protein integration! You’ve got long-cook collagen breakdown happening simultaneously with fat rendering, do you realize what that means?! TEXTURE SYNERGY! And porcini mushrooms? That’s umami amplification! They’re like little flavor boosters, increasing savory depth on a molecular level. It’s basically a taste supercharger! Tomatoes bring acidity…boom! balance! Rosemary adds aromatic complexity, herbaceous volatile compounds entering the system!…Whoa. It’s rich, it’s deep, it’s… it’s like every flavor is working together in a perfectly calibrated edible ecosystem! If this sauce were weather… it’d be a perfect storm! But, like, in a GOOD way! A delicious, meaty, scientifically optimized storm! I call it… the FLDSMDFR-approved Bolognese Event!

Flint Lockwood Bolognese 2.0

Ingredients

2 tbs extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup chopped onions
6 cloves chopped garlic
1/4 cup chopped fresh rosemary
1 lb ground pork shoulder
1 tbs Italian seasoning
1 lb ground short rib
1 cup dry porcini mushrooms
1 cup red wine
1 cup beef stock
1 can whole San Marzano tomatoes
1/4 cup finely chopped parsley
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

In a small bowl, soak the porcini mushrooms in the red wine.
In a large sauce pan over medium heat add the olive oil. Add the onions, garlic, and season with salt and pepper. Cook 2 to 3 minutes or until the onions start to become translucent. Add the pork shoulder and Italian seasoning. Cook the pork for about 5 minutes to render out the fat and remove the pork and vegetables from the pan and set aside but leave the pork fat.
Add the short rib and rosemary to the pan with the pork fat and season with salt and pepper. Cook the meat, about 5 minutes, and add the pork back into the pan. Cook the meat for an additional 10 minutes and deglaze the pan with the red wine used to soak the porcinis, scraping any fond off the bottom of the pan. Chop the porcinis, add to the pan, and mix into the ground meats.
Crush the tomatoes and add to the pan with the liquid and basil from the can, beef stock, parsley, and Parmesan cheese. Turn the pan down to low heat and simmer for one and a half hours, stirring occasionally.
Serve over pasta.